Wren's First Boyfriend

Message left on Wren's child psychologist's answering machine.

"For weeks we've been finding Wren out back loitering with the lazy Russian Blue tomcat from next door. Wren seems mesmerized by his eyes, his tattoos, and his provocative meows. One evening, she didn't come home until well into the night. The next morning, she seemed distant. When I said, "I love you," to her father, she scoffed. She seems to have turned into a woman over night."

-Mrs. Bentov

"Nasty cats do it better."

I know every slut is a Nasty Cat model, but this is what I've been up to... It ain't print but whatevs.

Excerpt from "Blood Runs In The Family"

WREN spins around and shoves ELAN off the edge of the bed.

WREN

You're not my fucking dad!

Elan doesn't respond. Wren looks down at him, worried.

WREN

Dad?

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Closer...

Jared gets advice from Wren

"So many bitches, so little time..." mused Jared.

"Meow" conceded Wren.

Wren's new head shots.

My manager says I should be out of porn within 6 months, max!

girl's night!

can't believe mai-ly, chelsea, AND i all wore the same dress.

Nanny Cam

Ugh, being the lil' guy totally sucks.

PRODUCT ENDORSEMENT: Pet Head Pop Pop Fizz Fizz

Pet Head Pop Pop Fizz Fizz makes me forget how I scrape around in my own shit and that I clean my body with my rotten fish mouth.

Shop girl

 

Still standing behind this fucking counter. I hate my job. I hate retail. Still super sick from getting my ute sliced - I think I'll just take a nap (as usual!).

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Uh Oh! OxyContin!

hyper LINK :: Sooooo fucked up!!!!!!! oxy prescriptions for my surGerying!!!!!

Wren Spayed; Uterus Replaced with Penis

 

 Wren had her nest removed through a little hole in her belly. It seems a small penis is forming at the site. Wren hasn't seen it yet, because of her cone, but I'm sure she'll be satisfied.

Wren and the fat kid.

 

Wren had to baby-sit her agent's kid. Can you say MISERY!? The kid ate Wren's food, shit itself twice, and hid the remote control while Wrizzo was trying to get her Gossip Girl on!

Is "boosh" a word?

Wren pulled me aside that night and sighed. She was like, "How many times are we going to sit around and play Words-with-Friends like fucking losers?"

Baby Pix!

This is baby wren right after her Bris.

"Oh! She's drinking..."

Auntie Mai-ly stopped by to smoke a Virginia Slim and spoil wren with rice milk. Wren had a bad case of crazy tail all that evening.

Puppy Cat

We wanted to know why Wren acted so puppy-like. What is in her head? Chelsea found a seam that ran along her skull. When both ears are pulled, her brain is exposed. We still couldn't see why she acted so puppy-like.

A kitty named Wren.

There were two kittens in the cage, one was reddish and had a sickly face. The other was the bull. The woman at the animal shelter said that the feral bird ward was in a frenzy the morning she arrived. So we named her “Wren.”